Common mistakes during sex

There are many reasons why couples forego protection on occasion - but once is all it takes. Often it’s the availability of condoms or dental dams when they need them, at other times they are genuinely in such a rush or in the heat of the moment that they don’t remember to use a condom. The consequences of unsafe sex are grave though as it could lead to an unwanted pregnancy or the contraction of sexually transmitted diseases. It would be wise to not make this mistake during sex, even if it’s with someone you trust.

Remember, it is as important to use protection during most types of sexual activity, including oral sex and anal sex.

Read more: How to have safe sex

Every new person you have sex with is different and therefore will have different sexual likes, dislikes and preferences. Even if you have a lot of experience before them, that doesn’t mean you know anything about satisfying your new partner. Don’t be scared to ask questions to get to know them better sexually, it will not reflect inexperience but maturity.

Read more: How to talk to your partner about sex

The sex is usually only as good as the foreplay that precedes it. Don’t assume the other person is as turned on as you - especially when it comes to women. Arousal can take time and effort but it’s always worth it in the end. It also provides women with natural lubrication which is essential for pain- and injury-free sexual intercourse.

Read more: Lubricants: types, benefits, side-effects

We get it, you can’t wait to get started. That doesn’t mean you don’t wash your hands before you do or clip your nails. When they use the term "getting down and dirty", they don’t mean it literally. Not cleaning your hands before you touch your partner's genitals can cause irritation and burning, especially if you were eating something spicy before. Don’t risk it and cleanse anything that needs cleansing - be it your hands, genitals, sex toys, whatever.

We are not saying you need to vocalise every thought that is in your head but you also don’t have to stay completely silent during sex. Non-verbal cues are great and all but also extremely subtle and can often be missed. Show your appreciation with your words, give some suggestions and enjoy while the sex gets better and better for you.

Being selfish in bed is an extremely common mistake. Many times people don’t even realise they’re doing it. If you feel like the focus is always on you during sex, then it might be time to rectify this. If not, it could eventually cause strain in your relationship since the scales are clearly tipped in your favour. Be a generous partner and you shall be rewarded for it.

Read more: Tips for the first time you have sex

Just like you shouldn’t be selfish all the time, you also shouldn’t be completely selfless all the time during sex. It’s all about finding the right balance. Don’t forget about your own needs or satisfaction and only care about your partner’s. Your partner might not even have realised that you’re not completely satisfied in bed or have different fantasies that you may want to try. It’s okay to discuss these things as a couple to evolve.

Read more: Pain during sex: symptoms, causes. prevention, diagnosis, treatment, tips

There will always be scope to learn more about sex so keep an open mind. The more sex you have, the more you will learn and discover all of its aspects. So ask for directions, always keep experimenting with new things and listen to others - everyone has a different set of experiences and you can learn a lot from paying attention to them.

Read more: What is sex

In today’s day and age, you can’t easily escape stress. It may be stemming from work pressure, parental expectations or body image issues - it can all affect your sex life. We know it’s easier said than done, but until you deal with these problems, try to leave them outside the bedroom if you can. Stress can severely affect the sexual experience and even keep you from having an orgasm at times. Also, if you feel too stressed to have sex, don’t feel obligated to have it anyway - your mental health deserves to be prioritised when it’s demanding attention so obviously.

Read more: How to increase sexual stamina

We are surrounded by distractions. Phone, television, tablets, laptops, smartwatches - we keep so many of them switched on, at the bedside table. A single notification at the wrong time can derail your mind during intercourse. Even without technology, our minds can wander off onto completely mundane things. This isn’t a reflection on your relationship or the sex, though, it can happen to even the most loving couples. You need to make a conscious effort to be in the moment and experience every movement as it happens.

Read more: Sex during periods